On the other side of fear

Some things always change

somethingsneverchange

The saying Things will never be the same again is very commonplace. Much harder is to know which things will never be the same again? Although you know deep, deep down inside that things should not continue to remain the same, where do you start the new? And how?

How do you do it, so that you don’t fall back into the same old, the same old that has always been there, so well-known to you and so long time befriended?

There are times every so often when you process only feelings. I know that my writing has been fundamentally altered by my experience through my illness this year. I know this in the same way I’ve always best known everything: with my heart. It’s the certainty of a deeply perceived reality, long before its coming into play.

It is perhaps by holding the space required for acceptance. It is perhaps by reflecting upon everything you’ve known to be yours and you, and by watching in wonder how all has been, for one more time, transformed. Perhaps by letting it all be. Re-newed. Re-vitalized. Re-interpreted. Re-sensed.

So much of the new can be brought to life only by accepting its inevitable coming into existence.

As I accept that my writing shall never be the same again. My heart tells me I shall be writing dialogues. I shall shape characters, evoke stories and imagine old and new endings. I know that the days of timidly stepping back from my writing are gone. I imagine short novels, and oh! I imagine theatre plays. I imagine LIFE.

It feel it all, as it all has never felt before. This empty line right here, which keeps on being gradated with letters and words and feelings, as I type. It’s a wonder. It’s a discovery I am to make.

Perhaps some things are never to be stagnant. Creating, evolving, adulting and loving… are all no less than faithful companions of ever changing circumstances of our lives. What is important is to be aware – of how far, and how much, we have become.

What if we are indeed given millions of screen plays to pick from? What if our potential of becoming is truly unlimited? Yet the script we pick is either a dull one, or one that shall challenge our minds, hearts and bodies to the fullest. Scripts, screen plays, life as a theatre scene… Which would you have your next line rather be?

 

 

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About Madalina Serban

I love children. I love the sea. I love dancing. I love writing. And I love a man who makes me laugh.

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Feel some loving. See when I write something new.

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